Oink

I'm starting to get the feeling that someone does not want me to go on my upcoming glorious vacation to Mexico.

When we booked our trip back to Le Blanc for our anniversary, we were giddy with excitement and anticipation of drinking on the beach and gaining 5 to 10 lbs from eating 4 to 5 meals a day.
Then came the Mexican drug violence headlines splashed on newspapers and the internet. I couldn't get into my car without an NPR story on the spreading violence.

We figured if we stayed in our magical all-inclusive hotel which is guarded by security guards with guns we would be fine. Bring on the margaritas in the sun!

Now swine flu. The media has gone oinkers covering this 'epidemic'. My Dad is praying… My Mom is encouraging massive amounts of alcohol to 'kill off the virus' – Now that's more like it!

So in dealing with one of my many sinus infections last week, I visited my Dr and asked about the big, bad, piggy flu. Wouldn't you know, more people have died from the regular, old influenza virus than the swine flu and just like the influenza virus, the swine flu is treatable. Wash your hands. Use sanitizer. Stay away from sick people. If we have flu like symptoms when we return come see him.

Now flights to Mexico are being canceled and my amazing vacation is in peril.

I am not at all worried about the swine flu and I am sure I will not contract this virus if we are able to travel to the infected country.
BUT, I gotta say and please don't judge me…. I don't think it would even be that horrible to contract the pig flu. I would be famous. I could be a local hero because my office would have to be closed for a week! I would 'work from home' in quarantine for weeks while I was re-cooping from the scary pig flu by watching day-time tv and movies. I will finally get my money's worth from our monthly payments for HBO and Showtime. Plus, think of the lifetime of jokes I could use with that material – swine flu alone sounds hilarious.

Okay, okay, you're right. I guess it would not be worth it.

Imagine me with one of those sexy, blue, paper face masks while sunning by the infinity pool. That is going to leave an amazing tan line

How do you say, "Two margaritas, hold the swine flu, please" in Spanish?