After months of diligent, more like obsessive and compulsive, internet searching for the ‘perfect’ honeymoon spot I decided on Le Blanc and boy did I gloat upon arriving – I booked a honeymoon in HEAVEN.
Le Blanc is absolutely gorgeous! I have stayed in some fancy hotels prior thanks to my husband’s all expenses paid trip to Europe from his previous employer. Hotels with chandeliers above the bed, heated bathroom floors and $40.00 pay per view (not even porn!) but LeBlanc tops them all.
Upon walking in the very modern lobby you smell a hint of lavender in the air and you can see through the lobby past the minimalist, yet stylish bar to a stunning view of the ocean.
The hotel staff is amazing! You are promptly given a cocktail and walk out to the beach while your luggage is brought up to your room and a butler will unpack your belongings and even iron your clothes. The rooms are fabulous with flat screen tvs and a comfy bed… and the best part? A huge hot tub in the bathroom overlooking the ocean.
The food is great (especially for Mexico where I have stayed at places and happily survived on 3 meals of chips and guac) – they have 5 restaurants and a bar always within stumbling distance. The staff expertly creates frosty, tropical drinks and more importantly, they have over 100 wines available.
Yes, I know what you are thinking – this sounds like a lot of beach resorts. But there are two little words that prove that this resort is much better than the rest and is, in fact, heaven - ALL INCLUSIVE.
Yes folks, ALL INCLUSIVE, with 24 hour room service that has filet mignon and a cheese plate on the menu you quickly adopt a 4 or 5 meal-a-day habit. I ate more frequently than a newborn to try to sober me up from drinking from breakfast to late night 3rd dinner. Combine the eating and drinking with sleeping in and laying out by not 1, but 2 of the infinity pools and I believe that is the exact recipe for Heaven. Complete with angels that come by and replenish your drink when you get half way done with your first and spray you with water to cool you down. (Heaven forbid you actually burn a calorie or two from the 5 meals you have consumed in the past 18 hours by getting up and waddling into the pool).
Why am I being a total bitch by gloating about this glorious trip? We just booked a five night stay in May for our 2nd anniversary and the overabundance of endorphins that are being released are taking over my brain!!! I fully expect each of you to slap me in the ear or punch me in the throat the next time you see me. Hell, you all know I would. But as I walk around bandaged and bruised from your onslaught I will be smiling because I know heaven is right around the corner. I will also know that all my friends are assholes.
Now I just need a get skinny quick scheme because Lord knows I am not about to eat less or exercise more. F--- it. I will just tan prior and call it a day – who cares I will be in HEAVEN.
